The one who had lied that she loved me had left by then. Family, child left far from me. Friends watched what else could be reallocated from my stuff to theirs, since I wouldn’t need anything anymore. It is not the drama that matters, but the way out. The Sclerosis, which have been diagnosed, has launched a different way of thinking. When you know you have a short time left, you suddenly can’t care about your career, office work, compliance for petty bosses. You become conscious that human being can no longer drag you back to something that you previously believed is life. Then let's open a new chapter! I took only what was good for me from everything and I was shitting to the rest. I treated my relationships with women like that, too. So, it became as much and as bad. I might not have been in deep relation at all. But I fell back to life, adventures, and came out of a state of stress, which I see retrospectively as a self-reinforcing process that I would have died in.
Yes, I am convinced that a disease is only 20% an unavoidable physical reality, but 80% depends on our state of consciousness. When we reach a state of consciousness where we can wrap up and throw out the trouble out of ourselves, it will cease to exist. I didn't realize that process consciously. I have offered my destiny into the hands of Allah and I joined the Bosnian war as a volunteer and lame! Everybody laughed at me, but it was good a joke to put a gun in the hand of a lame man. I did not go to be a hero and I confess in retrospect that I was not interested in the cause of Allah. I was interested in what Allah decides about my life.
Well, that was the case until the first grenade flied away noisily beside my ear and blasted close to me. Then Sclerosis here, Allah there, I was shitting in my underpants. You must understand it literally! From then on, an instinct came into function that made me run even if I had no legs. Behold! By the time the war was over, I was walking, running, living. Where is the 6 months, that one year? Then I consciously produced these circumstances. I mean the conditions that kept me alive. I don't mean the excitement, grenades, etc. but the life and its problem-solving. Because, problems don't exist. We produce them ourselves! We can get rid of them. I learned how to wrap up the troubles and throw them out of myself. Yes, it works! You can throw all the shit out of yourself and you can get rid of trouble, tension, anxiety.
I wrote an article entitled “Prayer in a subjective approach”. This writing is related to that article.
There I explained how I have come to the point when prayer became a value, gave a deep meaning and it was not just a stereotype text anymore. Through prayer, I have reached the depth that has also amplified my self-healing, problem-solving processes. Let's not go astray! It’s not about that my prayer has become a method to deal with my problems! The other way around! Prayer is the occasion when you deal only with Allah and you regroup all your strengths, abilities, and miracles in His service. And see the miracle! By the time you get back to life, you are looking at your own troubles from afar or those are so dwarfed that you don’t even see them. That's why the five prayer a day is a very good time schedule. You need to get yourself out of the shit you’re in. If you stay in them longer, the troubles and not the recovery will prevail. I am convinced that Allah’s proximity is the medicine for that all-troubled phenomenon that no one has survived so far and its name is life.

I don't believe in miracles. Correction! I do not believe in the miracles that most people expect from Allah. I don’t believe that by tomorrow, abracadabra and Allah will send a packet of money, or my cancer will pass away. In this form I can't believe them. But I believe in the miracle of creation, because it is truly a miracle that I can open doors and gates in myself, in the creation with which I heal myself, forge my own fortune, organize my own destiny. In this form, yes, I believe I can cure the cancer and yes, I believe I can change my destiny. I was selfish in my wording so far. I can help not only for myself but also for others. Not by giving money because I haven't it. Also, I'm not offering massage of bodies and asking huge payments for a healing massage, but explain here for free that you too can establish in yourself the conditions that lift you out of the swamp of human shit, diseases, self-reinforcing harmful processes. This state is the nearness of Allah!
The miracle of creation is nothing but the reality to be discovered. Behind the so far unopened doors, there are plenty of miracles waiting for us. As we discover and put these into action, faith also becomes a reality and ceases to be a mere assumption. Don't strive yourself unnecessarily. You don’t have to read university books, there are no messages for you anyway.
Those are written by knowledgeable professors for the few who keep the professors in big respect, for these readers alone understand what is in them. The knowledge of Allah is above all! Get connected, it's that simple! Those who treated me in the hospital in 1993 and thought that my life will last for 6 months-one year, are already dead. They were also knowledgeable professors. Those who left me mostly are still alive, but thanks to Allah, the veil fell from their true face. What a disaster it would have been to continue with them! Hamdulillah!
I went for a medical checkup a couple of years ago. The Sclerosis is there. All its symptoms are present in the brain. No one understands how, and in spite of... I know. Allah Akbar!